Anchor
by VoluntarilyHere
Summary: The Liars finally have enough time to seriously contemplate their future with A dead and gone. In between the mayhem of college applications and campus tours, Spencer and Emily find that their hearts are longing for the other. However, they discover that life is a constant struggle, and perhaps the only way they won't drown is to have intense love and trust for each other. Spemily
1. Chapter 1

**Welcome! I won't keep you any longer, just wanted to say thank you for giving this a shot.**

 **Anchor**

 _Chapter 1_

Spencer stared at her reflection of her bathroom's mirror. Brunette. Hair curled. Brown eyes that peeked out under heavy hoods. Long eyelashes. Skinny, wearing tastefully preppy clothing.

She took a deep breath. She was going to do this. It was overdue. And god knows that Spencer Hasting cannot stand to be anxious, or even scared. She was done with all these confusing feelings between guys and girls like a broken compass, spinning out of control. She had to embrace who she was and accept the fact that she couldn't cut off this part of her sexuality like a limb. This was her.

"I'm gay."

* * *

"What did you do for spring break besides gettin' it on with Ezra?" Hanna asked with a little smirk to Aria.

The four best friends were having their last evening before school in the Hastings' barn. Candy, as well as popcorn, had already littered the room, making Spencer's hands itch for the vacuum. They had just finished a trashy chick flick that left Hanna and Emily in tears but Aria groaning with critique on the plot holes. Spencer thought it was little stupid but the couple was pretty cute, and the actor's and actress' chemistry was applaudable, so she remained indifferent.

Aria glared at her before responding. "Stayed at home and hung out at Hollis with my dad. Jesus, get your mind out of the gutter, Han."

"What about you Em?" Questioned Hanna with a brownie in her hand.

"My dad's coming home pretty soon so my mom's been making me clean the house even though I've already scrubbed the bathtub, like, five thousand times." Emily rolled her eyes. They all giggled at Emily's childish antics.

"I still can't believe we'll all be graduating pretty soon. It seems so close now." Aria's eyebrows were furrowed as if she couldn't believe how far along the year they were.

"It means we're all getting old," Hanna deadpanned. "Soon enough we'll be getting wrinkles and, holy shit, grey hairs." She shivered in horror.

Spencer rushed over to Hanna and gasped. "Oh my god! You aren't kidding! You have one right here!" She picked at one of Hanna's blonde strands.

Hanna panicked, eyes widening in fear. "No! No! Pull it out! Pull it out now! I can't have it infecting my hair!"

Spencer laughed. "Calm down, I'm just screwing around with you." Aria was shaking with laughter, mouth covered with the obscure novel she was reading that week and Emily was laughing too, cheeks rosey. Hanna was not laughing, her eyes shot death rays instead towards Spencer.

"That was _not_ funny."

"Yes it was," Spencer retorted. They said nothing until the peals of laughter had died down. She needed to tell them before she stalled any further. Her palms were coated with sweat and it seemed like she couldn't stop producing the troublesome body liquid. Spencer smoothed down her pants anxiously. And again and again until Emily stopped her by detaching her damp hands from her thighs.

Spencer noticed her stomach fluttered a little when Emily took her hands. The swimmer's hands were soft and strong. I like it, she thought absently. The majority of her mind was based on her confession she was going to make so she pushed that thought to the side.

"Woah, calm down. Spence, what's got you so antsy?" Emily asked with concern evident in her face.

"I'm gay," Spencer blurted out.

Her best friends were stunned. Their eyes told her what she thought. No one had suspected her of being gay at all.

After a few fat seconds, Aria cleared her throat.

"Wait, are you serious?"

Spencer swallowed. "Yeah."

Aria blinked. "You know we're fine with this," she said slowly. "I'm not accusing you of keeping secrets- I mean it's your choice- but why didn't you tell us this earlier?"

"I barely came out to myself last month," Spencer confessed. "I've always noticed something was different about me but it was something I thought would pass every time..." Spencer was getting a little emotional. She was tearing up a bit. "I thought it was a phase since I didn't notice these _feelings_ until a little before high school. But they haven't gone away and I realized... I can't keep denying myself of this any longer. I need to stop acting like I can just make it go away."

"Spence, we love you no matter what," said Aria.

"Yeah, come here you dumbass!" Hanna gave her a hug and the two other girls followed suit giving their friend the love she needed.

Hanna's curiosity was pretty much exploding so she asked. "Soooo... You _didn't_ like Toby? Or any boys?"

Spencer shook her head. Why was bisexuality never an option in people's minds? She'd have to look into that later. "I did like him. Loved him, in fact. But I also like girls."

Hanna made a face of understanding, her lips a little O.

"So. Who made you come out?" Emily had little knowing smirk on her face.

"What?"

"There's _always_ someone," Emily explained. "Don't lie. I know when you're lying."

Spencer blushed. "First of all, how do you know when I lie? Secondly, yes there is someone."

"First of all, I'll never tell you how I know, I just know. Second of all, who is she? I might know her," Emily mimicked.

"Yes, we all know you get around," Hanna teased.

"Her name's Samara. I was attending this, uh, gay youth seminar in Philly and I gave her my number." Spencer shrugged. "That's it."

"She better be cute. I'm just saying," Hanna said.

"She is, trust me," Spencer said.

"So when are you going to tell your parents?" Emily's mind flashed back to how painful it was to not have her mom's support. She hoped Spencer wouldn't have to go through the same thing.

"Soon. Tonight if not tomorrow. I think it'll be fine. I'll tell Melissa when she comes back, whenever that is." Spencer's parents were distant enough to not really affect her life too much regardless of their reaction. It was highly unlikely that it would be a problem though. Spencer distinctly remembered her mother working for a gay couple in the past, as well as being supportive of Emily's coming out.

"You have me, Aria, and Hanna if something goes wrong. You aren't alone Spence," Emily said sincerely.

Spencer smiled. "I know."

* * *

The star swim couple, Paige McCullers and Emily Fields, was doing their Biology AP homework in Emily's room, door left open of course, courtesy of Pam Fields. Three days back from break and they were already drowning in work and studying. Though it was grueling, they were both interested in the subject.

It made sense that both of them liked biology, the study of life. Life came from water and they found life in the water. Swimming was easily their largest common interest. Paige would often joke that they were amphibians rather than an average human being and that would make Emily wrinkle her nose since she did not want to be compared to a frog of all things. After swimming their other common interest was a love for biking.

Emily sighed and closed her textbook. "If I read anymore about flagellum I'll die."

Paige chuckled slightly but made a puckered face when she looked at her girlfriend. It wasn't the full laugh that Emily was used to. She decided it was just post-spring break blues and let it be. She'd learned to let the little things not worry her that much, after the whole A fiasco.

Both worked in silence for a few minutes until Paige sat up ramrod straight, grabbing Emily's attention. "Em, my nana's staying at my family's house for a while."

"So?" Emily did not see what was the problem.

"She's homophobic," Paige said.

"Oh." She could see the problem now. "How long is a while to you?"

"I have no idea. It could be a month, a year..." She trailed off. "I haven't told her about you."

"You mean us."

"Yes, us." Paige swallowed. "I don't know if I can. The stuff she said... Let's just say that if she had a choice between making me drop out of high school or for me to come out to her, she'd choose the former."

"I get the whole homophobic relative thing but I'm not going to go back to the closet Paige." Emily wanted her position to be as clear as possible. Lies were the last thing she wanted now, even if they were by omission.

"I'm not saying you should. I just need time," Paige said with puppy eyes.

Emily stared her down, effectively killing the puppy eyes. "I'm serious. I can't wait forever. It hurts too much," she said honestly. "But I guess it would hurt even worse if I didn't have you." Emily held Paige's hand, rubbing circles with her thumb.

"I love you," Paige said and kissed her. Their lips touching was probably the best thing that Emily had experienced so far today.

"I love you too," Emily said. "I'll give you a month to tell your nana."

"Okay," Paige said. And they went back to doing their homework.

* * *

Returning to bed after a quick pee break, Spencer hummed contentedly. It was the best Sunday she'd had a while. "Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels)" by Arcade Fire was stuck in her head. She felt so happy spending the entire day and the morning with Samara.

Everything was different. There was an infinite amount of ways Samara reminded her of Toby, like how secure she was with herself, and the quiet confidence they both had. There was an infinite amount of ways they were different. The softness of her hands, her warm lips, her hips, her breasts...

Spencer's head swam with the fresh memories of Samara.

Samara in her dress that was like a second skin on her body capturing Spencer's attention fully. Even in the crowd and noise of the club, Spencer's eyes were only on her.

How erotic Samara looked like when she was dancing, holding her hand out for Spencer to take. Pulling her next to her, the contact like electricity.

Samara, that absolute vixen.

Even before all that Spencer knew she was screwed.

"Do you think this dress is a little exposed? Like, slutty?" This was when they were both getting ready to go on their nightlife adventure. Spencer wanted to look good for Samara badly.

She could almost hear Samara's breathy, whispered response in her ear, hours after.

" _It's not slutty if you're mine and only mine, Hastings."_

Spencer could've gone naked at that point.

* * *

Somehow Samara always looked perfect. Even here with her blonde hair splayed out on Spencer's pillow. Spencer couldn't help but admire how the sunlight from the windows hit Samara and gave her an ethereal glow.

It was noon. A date with Samara was a twenty four hour affair. How did a simple coffee date at two turn into this? It seemed like Spencer went from one extreme to another. From only catching Toby for a brief moment during the weekend to Samara who was a tsunami and quickly occupying a considerable chunk of Spencer's life. She noticed that she only had time to think in her bed these days. She wasn't sure if it was a bad thing.

Samara was intoxicating. When she was present, she stole Spencer's attention. Spencer was hooked. A movie date could last forever if Samara felt like it should. Spencer enjoyed it. She liked that someone was taking the reins for once. She could've spent the whole day with Samara. So she did.

For once Spencer felt content. Her legs tangled up with Samara's underneath her silk sheets. Her body tinged with a pleasant achiness.

* * *

Her girlfriend of one week had left, leaving a wreck of a bedroom behind. Spencer's sheets needed changing and everything was in disarray. She cleaned up all of it in remarkable time, not surprising since she used to clean out rooms looking for clues and then shuffle everything back into place.

One downside for being with Samara was the lack of study time that Spencer usually allotted. Her routine was busted every time that Samara came into the equation. Spencer Hastings had a strict study schedule down to the minute to maximize efficiency. Samara was distracting to say the least.

She surveyed the damage. Not as horrible as she thought it would be. An incomplete math assignment, essay editing for the second time, and some polishing on a history presentation. She could do this, definitely, but this situation long term? That made her uneasy. Samara was spontaneous and delightful and everything that was perfect ( god, she was _whipped)_ but Spencer valued premeditation too.

Shooting a quick text to Samara saying she would be busy for a little while, Spencer muted her phone, and that was that.

Spencer didn't beat around the bush after all.

* * *

With grades stabilized and her academic prowess back to peak levels, Spencer checked her phone. Her eyebrows shot skyward when she registered the thirty four unread messages from Samara.

Her lips curved upward once she opened them up. Most of them being selfies of Samara with an exaggerated bored or sad expression on her face. Her faces were adorable pouts making her look like a lost child.

 _Spencer: looks like someone's lonely_

 _Samara: omg where were u?_

 _Samara: u were like dead af_

 _Spencer: I was just doing hw lmao_

 _Samara: hw? wtf is that_

 _Spencer: unlike u some of us have a thing called school_

 _Samara: u need to loosen up and have fun spence_

 _Spencer: ok sure... let's act like we didn't spend the weekend partying lol_

 _Samara: plz i do that kind of stuff IN MY SLEEP_

 _Spencer: how do u even function then_

 _Samara: i don't. i have fun. LIKE U NEED TO DO_

 _Spencer: tbh I have fun studying. I like it._

 _Samara: im pretty sure i like you more than u like studying_

 _Spencer: oh wow u spelled out you I feel so special._

 _Spencer: I like you too._

* * *

Paige was waiting for her on the locker room benches since she knew that Emily always took a while on her hair.

"All this chlorine could not be good for my hair," Emily said while towel drying her locks.

"It couldn't be," Paige agreed.

"Thanks for waiting for me." She gave her girlfriend a kiss.

"You taste like soap," whispered Paige.

"Right back at you, frog," Emily replied.

"You know," Paige started. "My parents are away at a work conference for three days... You think your mom would let you have a sleepover at, let's say, Hanna's?"

"What about your nana? Unless you haven't told her that is," Emily shot back, a little irritated. Emily knew it was harsh, but Paige needed that.

Paige's face looked pained. "I told you I need time."

"You only have a week left," Emily said. "You think you need more time? Or am I going to stay in the closet again? If I am, just say so because I've heard Narnia's in there so I should pack appropriately." Emily angrily wringed her wet swimsuit.

Paige scowled. "I'm done with this conversation." Paige grabbed her bag and started to leave but Emily grabbed her wrist, holding her back.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you." Emily hoped Paige could understand. "I trust you to do the right thing. I trust _you_."

Her girlfriend's hand on her bag's strap tightened. "As much as I'd love to stay, I have a family dinner to go to." With that, Paige left.

Emily slammed her locker in frustration. Did Paige think she would accept that? How could she have a family dinner when her parents were away?

* * *

The preppy brunette packed her folders into her messenger bag, occasionally adjusting an item or two. She had realized long ago that she had made school a sort of relaxer when she was dealing with A. Papers and problems were so easy when compared to what A was hitting her with. Now that A was gone, Spencer still used school work the same way.

Samara seemed a little off the last time they talked.

Her phone's timed muting had ended and a buzz sounded off immediately, most likely a message from Samara. It was.

 _Samara: i know how we're gfs and exclusive but how would u feel if i wanted to explore other people_

 _Spencer: what?! like sexually or romantically? do u want to try 3somes?_

 _Samara: how would u feel if i hooked up with someone_

 _Spencer: pissed honestly_

 _Spencer: this doesn't sound like a hypothetical_

 _Samara: well that happened_

 _Spencer: are you serious_

 _Samara: u were at school! i was so lonely and u weren't answering_

 _Spencer: why are you telling me thru text_

 _Samara: how would u have wanted me to tell u_

 _Spencer: whatever._

 _Samara: how can u blame me. u ignore me regularly. what was i supposed to do_

 _Spencer: I'm usually busy with homework so I mute my phone. I told you this. You understood._

 _Samara: don't get all formal_

 _Spencer: I'm hurt, okay. You know that I like doing my work. I give you my weekends when I could've been with my friends or something._

 _Spencer: I can't believe you. You clearly moved on so I guess I will too._

 _Samara: Fine._

* * *

Emily gnawed at her lip. She hadn't seen Spencer this morning which was strange since the brunette usually got there earlier than anyone else. Spencer tended to like chatting with the teachers to ensure that her grades were fine (or stellar in Emily's world).

The tardy bell was ringing as Spencer walked into their shared English class. That was certainly a first. Even Ms. Hershel had a look of surprise.

The normally polished and perfect Spencer had gone surprisingly casual today, like what she usually wore for jogging, as well as make up free. Spencer had decided to go for a Nike hoodie and some leggings, a definite step down from her riding boots and fitted blazers. Something was up, she'd have to ask her later.

Emily couldn't help thinking that Spencer looked gorgeous anyways.

The class consisted of a bland lecture on Dante's Inferno and the essay they were expected to write on said book. Normally, Spencer would have been asking about any specifications for the essay and things like that however, today there was nothing but silence from her. Emily knew she should have been focusing on the teacher's rant but she was too concerned with Spencer.

The dismissal bell rang and dozens of students rose simultaneously to escape the class.

"Spencer! Wait up!" Emily clamored to catch up with the unusually unenthusiastic brunette.

She grabbed her arm as a way to establish eye contact and almost recoiled at the dark expression painted on Spencer's face. She let her arm go.

"Where were you this morning?" It was hard to talk to Spencer when she had storms in her eyes.

"Sleeping," Spencer answered curtly.

"You can tell me anything you know," Emily said, oozing with sweetness.

Spencer winced. Her face suddenly looked fragile, eyes tearing up and lashes blinking rapidly. "It's over. With Samara."

"What?!" Emily snaked her arm across Spencer's body to give her a strong one armed hug. "Whatever happened, she doesn't deserve you Spencer."

Spencer finally let the tears fall and buried her face into Emily's shoulder. "She cheated on me," Spencer said quietly, barely loud enough to be audible. "I think I caused her to do that."

"Shush. Regardless of problems you guys may have had, Samara handled it horribly," Emily reassured.

"I really fucked up," Spencer muttered.

"I love you to death Spencer but you need to shut the hell up and just believe me," Emily said firmly.

Spencer sighed and wiped at her eyes with the sleeve of her jacket. "Fine. We should get to class. I've kept you enough."

"You're insane. I'll always be there for you." Emily frowned. She hated self-deprecating Spencer. It wasn't like her. It made Emily angry to see Spencer like this. How could Spencer not know how wonderful she truly was?

"I know that," Spencer said. "I'll always be there for you too. Promise."

* * *

The dark brown haired swimmer had been patient. Her mother took pride in her daughter's ability to bide her time for things. But something had changed when she was under A's thumb. Her patience had cracked. The powerlessness she felt with A's threats had tortured her. With A gone, "normal" life was slow and tedious. People worrying about their finals were on another planet from what she was feeling. She lacked the energy to even care about such mundane things. Everything feels like it's in slow motion when you've experienced one life or death situation after another.

That was what Emily told herself to justify the deadline she had given Paige.

She knew the hypocrisy was there. Maya had waited for her and yet she couldn't do the same for Paige. What was wrong with her?

She was fucked up. That was certain. She was broken but that didn't mean that she was going to abuse everything and everyone good to her.

Emily made up her mind. She would apologize to Paige and tell her to take the time she needed. It was only fair.

The doorbell rang. Emily got up to answer the door, grimacing from the sore effects of yesterday's grueling practice.

"Oh. Hi Paige." The other girl wasn't smiling.

"Hi Emily. Can I come in?" Paige wrung her hands.

"Oh y-yeah. Of course." Emily cleared her throat. "You want a drink or something?" Paige shook her head and sat down on the couch.

"I think we need to talk." Emily rolled her eyes internally and had to fight the urge of actually rolling them. They were already talking. Why did she have to say that awful cliche line?

"Sure." She settled into a chair, facing Paige. "But look, before you go any further, just know that I don't want to pressure you into coming out to your nana. That was stupid of me to do. I'm sorry."

Paige twitched. "It's okay."

"So we're good?" Emily got the sinking feeling that all was not well.

Paige tugged rolled up her sleeve, avoiding eye contact. "We are, but maybe as friends."

"Wait. What?" Emily asked in disbelief.

"I think we'll be better off as friends." Paige said with a stony face.

Paige was breaking up with her. Paige was breaking up with her. _Paige was breaking up with her._ No way in hell was this happening. Was she still mad at her for the whole stupid nana thing?

Emily pleaded, "What should I do for you to forgive me?"

"No-" Paige started but Emily cut her off.

"I love you." It was the only thing Emily could say.

"I love you too Em but you're missing what I'm trying to say." Paige took a deep breath. "This ordeal started making me think about why I'm so afraid. And then I realized. I'm always scared. I will always be scared and you don't deserve that."

Emily shook her head furiously. "Stop! You stuck by me even when you knew what happened to Maya. You were there for me. How is that not brave?!"

"You deserve better. You need someone who can sh-shout how much they love you from the rooftops. That isn't me..." Paige said with a crack in her voice. "I crave people's opinions too much. Maybe it's because of Alison, maybe not. All I know is that there will be a constant part of me that will be insecure with my sexuality because it might offend someone. You deserve so, _so_ much more than I can give," Paige said shakingly. "I don't deserve you."

"Don't do this. You are who you want to be." Emily choked back sobs. "I'm willing to wait for you. I'm willing to fight for you. Are you willing to fight for me?"

"You know I can't be who you want me to be," Paige said, wiping her tears and then fleeing the Fields residence, leaving Emily in stunned silence.

* * *

 **Whoo! That chapter moved at breakneck speed, eh? If you're a bit concerned about the pacing of things, don't worry, it'll calm down after this chapter. This story is going to be quite fluffy, though there will be a little bit of drama since life is a bit dramatic. A will _not_ be a part of this little shipping haven, though A will have an influence on how they act. All in all, it's going to be wonderfully fluffy. I have this pretty much planned out entirely, but if you have any quick scene suggestions, I would be happy to consider them. Any faves, follows, and reviews are appreciated. Thank you.**


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 2_

"Hello?"

"Hey Spence."

"Em, I got your texts. I'm fine, really." Spencer smiled at the sweet texts that Emily had sent her earlier.

"You're not," Emily said. "I know you're hurting. Don't let it bottle it up. Talk to me, or the girls, or write it out or _something_."

"Trust me, I've let my pain show in my cleaning. I've done everyone's laundry and I've cleaned my room about five times. I'm done studying for all my classes. My emotions are completely let out." Spencer was thoroughly exhausted, emotionally and physically.

Emily laughed. "That's good, I guess. If you want to knock out your feelings through exercise, I'd be happy to join you.

Spencer moaned. "Hell no. Field hockey is kicking my ass." Sitting in a slightly more comfortable position on her bed, she asked, "How are you?"

"I'm great, thanks. Just trying to get this stupid Biology homework done. As much as I like science, this might ruin my love for biology forever. I should've never taken this class." Emily's voice was frustrated, and rightfully so. Former students had told Spencer that their college professors were easier than the famed Ms. Forwright.

"Sucks for you. I got Mr. Brown. So much easier. Do you need help on it?"

"Nah, it's just tedious. And mentally draining."

"If you need me, I'm here."

"I know." It was true, Emily knew. "Did you hear what Hanna did to that guy, Terrence, in her Government class?"

"No; what happened?"

"Oh my god, she hit him with her bag because he was giving her the wrong attitude or being _sleazy_ , as she puts it."

"Well that's Hanna for you."

They went back and forth, giving anecdotes about each other's day as well as voicing their frustrations. Conversation flowed easily since they had a lot in common, particularly their parents' expectations. The Fields were practically betting on Emily's swimming career. It was Emily's ticket to her future and her parents, especially her mother, regularly reminded her of that. The Hastings just expected excellence. Excellence in everything to ensure she had an Ivy League spot. Aria and Hanna, with the lack of pressure from their parents, could never understand them on the level they did each other.

Their phone call lasted for two hours until Emily admitted she was too sleepy to continue. Spencer treasured those casual conversations with the swimmer. It was nice to just have a laugh without any stress, or talk without rushing. Both of them missed how they could just savor the moment and not worry about A.

* * *

Thankfully, the drive over to Philadelphia wasn't too bad, just a boring forty five minute journey. Although Spencer knew it was overly cautious of her to do, she always did a full car check before she even hit the road. Once in the car, she checked if her brakes were working as well as turn signals. She didn't allow herself music in case it would distract her for whatever reason. Old habits died hard, it seemed.

The brunette entered Jacqueline's, an ice cream parlor and coffee shop, with the book her English class was making them read in hand. The worn interior of the place was like an old friend. The ugly checkerboard black and white floor, heavily used and abused booth seats, and warm lighting were like a hug from easier times. She ordered and obtained her coffee and placed her order for ice cream, then sat down in a booth to read while she waited.

* * *

Veronica Hastings had the pleasure of having her seven year old daughter tag along to one of her client meetings in Philadelphia since her babysitter bailed and Melissa, Spencer's older sister, was gone on a class field trip. In exchange for being so obedient that day, she figured her daughter should get a small reward for good behavior. Fortunately, she had gotten a recommendation to some sort of ice cream parlor near the area from a friend.

Spencer Hastings just wanted to go back home to read. "What are we doing here exactly?"

"Getting ice cream since you were so pleasant with the receptionist that was gracious enough to watch you," Veronica replied.

"Oh. Thanks?" Spencer didn't know how to react to this. Was her mom going to announce a divorce or something?

"Relax Spencer. It's just some bonding time. I know we haven't had that in a while." Or ever, she added to herself. Veronica, in truth, did not know how this was going to go down either. They went to the display of ice cream with an employee at the cash register.

"So what would you like? They have a pretty good variety here."

"Wouldn't it be cheaper to buy it by the tub?" Spencer pointed out.

"Well yes, but there's a certain quality that comes with buying it from a legitimate parlor. At least that's what they say. What would you like?"

"The mint chocolate chip, I guess."

"Alright, mint chocolate chip for you, and butter pecan for me."

Spencer stared at her mother in her business attire talking to the ice cream parlor employee placing an order for ice cream. It was all so strange. Bonding? What on earth does that entail? She hardly knew who her mother was.

Her mother returned with their ice cream, both in waffle bowls.

"So," Her mother said, while scooping some ice cream up with her spoon. "How is school?"

"Fine," Spencer answered.

"Just fine?" Considering how expensive the private school Spencer was attending was, this was not quite the answer she was expecting.

"Yep."

"Any particular reason why it's 'fine'? Don't bother lying, I know when you're lying to me."

Spencer sighed exasperatedly. She knew her mother was going to have a few words with the person behind the issue. She'd seen her kindergarten teacher burst into tears after a parent teacher conference. Spencer had learned to hold her tongue a bit more after that. "It's nothing, really. It's just my advanced math teacher, Mr. Simon, made me do my homework all over again during recess and lunch."

"Are you having trouble with the material? You know if you need help I can get you a tutor-"

The seven year old shook her head. "My answers were correct. But my way was different than what the class is doing. He said my show work was all wrong."

"Why aren't you using the regular way?"

"It takes too long. Too many unnecessary steps"

"I see."

"Yep."

Veronica took a mental note to have a discussion with this teacher.

Spencer sat quietly, savoring the ice cream. Hesitantly, the young girl asked, "My birthday's coming up and I sort of wanted to plan a slumber party with all my friends. Do you think we can do that?"

Mrs. Hastings tried to mask her surprise since Spencer's birthday had completely slipped her mind. "Of course. Who do you plan on inviting?" Spencer knew that was just a snide way of getting to know who her friends were despite the fact that Spencer had stuck with the same group since kindergarten.

"I think I'm going to invite Alissa, Savannah, and Jocelyn. Maybe Penelope. She's new, and nice I guess."

The mother smiled while a sinking feeling of guilt settled in her stomach when she could not recognize any of the names. "Invite everyone you want honey. It's your day." Spencer gave her mother a grateful smile.

Mrs. Hastings enjoyed her ice cream. "This is actually pretty good."

"It is. How'd you find this place anyways?"

"A colleague of mine recommended it."

"Oh."

Veronica couldn't take it anymore. Her daughter kept looking at her as if she was going to use one of her lawyer tactics on her. This wasn't how mothers and daughters acted. She hated herself for neglecting Spencer like this and she needed her daughter to know that this was an attempt to be better.

"Spencer?" Her daughter looked up, spoon still in mouth with a bit of ice cream dribbling over.

"Hm?"

"I'm sorry for being absent for a while." Veronica paused and went with the absolute minimum. "I love you. Constantly, even when you're not near me Spencer."

Spencer responded without looking up, "I love you too."

Veronica took her daughter's hands and clasped them with her own. "I'm trying to be better. I promise."

"You're already doing fine, mom."

* * *

Spencer smiled, digging into the enormous waffle bowl that still held her favorite, mint chocolate chip. After that first memory a few more took place at Jacqueline's. They went about once every two months, but it wasn't set. It was their place and her father never intruded on their mother daughter time together. Her mother invited her out to Jacqueline's whenever she and Spencer had time but unfortunately, once high school started, Spencer became busier and busier. One, because of A and two, because of everything she was doing academically to get into UPenn. On her off days, Spencer's mind and body often went to Jacqueline's. She only had good memories associated with Jacqueline's.

With one hand flipping the pages on the book and the other scooping up ice cream, Spencer was primed for some quality reading time.

Emily felt overdressed. She'd spent two hours on her hair and makeup and she wasn't even meeting anyone. It was ridiculous and vain of her but she couldn't overlook the slim chance that she might bump into Paige and she did _not_ want her ex-girlfriend to see her looking like Hurricane Katrina attacked her. Emily wanted to keep up that facade of being above relationships and being able to be independent and to- fucking shit- not fall to pieces after A. It was insane that she was a mess even with A gone. Where was her happily ever after? She felt like a disaster, like everything she did ultimately ended in failure.

The bell went off when she came in, alerting the ice cream parlor to her.

The owner's daughter, Mary, greeted her with a wide grin and a shriek. "Oh my goodness! It's Emmy! Ma, get in the front! Emily's here!"

" _Mary_ ," Emily whined. "Why'd you tell your mother? My cheeks are still recovering from last time."

"She loves you so much that she _has_ to pinch your cheeks," Mary squeezed one of Emily's cheeks. "Besides, they're so squishable. How can you blame her?"

The stout, plump owner Jacqueline appeared in front of her, eyes misting with tears. "Goodness, Emily it's been so long! Where are those cheeks of yours?" She rushed in to pinch Emily's cheek briefly then gave her a very strong hug.

"Jacky," Emily gasped out. "You're crushing me."

"Sorry. Where's your Dad?"

"Still in Texas. He's coming back for a week during the summer so you'll see him then."

"Ah. Enough about Wayne. He'll make it." Her cheery older relative act did a U turn when she smirked. "If not, I'll kick his ass." And then snapped back to doting aunt. "What about you Emmy? Are you doing well?"

"I'm doing great," Emily lied.

Jacqueline frowned. "Emily."

"I'm telling you the truth," Emily said.

Jacqueline raised an eyebrow but said nothing.

"Anyways, can I get a scoop of my favorite?" Emily asked with a hopeful voice.

"Rocky road, waffle cone as usual?" A nod. "Some things never change."

"Here, don't drop it," Jacqueline said passing the cone topped with deliciousness over the display counter.

"Thanks Jacky. Really," Emily said with sincerity.

"You're like one of my daughters. That won't change either. If you need someone to talk to, I'm always here." Jacqueline had a soft smile on her face, reminiscing silently in her mind.

"I know."

"Alright, I have to run inventory check today. I'll be gone for a little while in the back. Don't scare away any customers Emmy!" She joked.

"I'm not twelve Jacky!" Emily yelled while Jacqueline disappeared into the back of the shop.

* * *

"Emmy, my hand is getting a little sweaty, you might want to let go for a while," Wayne Fields said, chuckling when his six year old daughter scrunched up her face in disgust.

"Ew!" Emily wiped her hands down her shirt.

"With that tone it sounds like you don't want ice cream," Wayne teased.

"Nuh uh. We're gonna go to Jacky's because you owe me from last year," Emily argued.

"Alright, it's just around the block."

The father and daughter duo walked into the shop laughing over Emily's knock knock joke.

"Emmy!" Jacqueline smiled at the two laughing idiots. "What's going on here?"

"Tell her," Wayne ordered.

"Knock knock," Emily prompted

"Who's there?"

"Ach."

"Ach who?"

"Bless you! I didn't know you had a cold."

Jacqueline snorted. "That was the corniest thing I have ever heard. I cannot believe you broke your Daddy with that." Wayne Fields was gasping for air and was nearly crying from laughter.

"It's hilarious!"

"Alright, what can I get for you two?"

After getting their ice cream, the duo went back to the park they were at before and sat down on a bench.

"Daddy?"

"Yeah, Emmy?"

"I'm gonna miss you when you leave."

"I'm going to miss you too," Wayne said fondly. "But you can't think like that. You need to enjoy the now."

"Still gonna miss you Daddy."

"I know, Emmy. I know." Emily was the only child he had. When she was born he had cried along with his wife and used to spend hours just watching her sleep. It broke his heart to leave, but it had to be done. He loved her so, so much and he made sure she knew it.

He slung a strong arm over Emily and hugged her. "I love you, baby."

"I love you too, Daddy," Emily said back. She blinked rapidly, tears forming. "I'm gonna miss you so much..." She tried heroically to wipe her tears. "Why do you have to leave? I want you to help me with homework or watch TV with me if Mommy's at work. Sometimes I need help with math and Mommy doesn't have time..."

"Emmy..." Her father had gotten teary eyed as well. His heart broke when his daughter was distraught. "You just have to stay strong and support your mother, okay?"

"Okay," Emily responded, her voice small. The ice cream's cold cooled her burning state, her body warmth skyrocketing when she cried.

* * *

"Emily?" The swimmer knew that voice.

"Spencer? What are you doing here in Philly?"

"I could ask the same of you," Spencer said smoothly.

"If I told you I drove forty five minutes to get ice cream would you believe me?"

"I would since I did the same thing," Spencer said, laughing lightly.

"You want me to be alone or can I sit with you?" Emily didn't want to bother the brunette.

"I don't mind," Spencer said.

Emily's eyes flicked from her double scoop waffle cone to Spencer's colossal four scoop waffle bowl. The size was absurd when compared to the skinny brunette that was eating it.

"Need help with that?" Emily pointed with her spoon.

"Nope. I got it." Spencer had done this many times before. "But if you want to have some, be my guest."

Emily glanced at the book Spencer had placed at her side. "Seriously? That's not on the syllabus for another two weeks," Emily scoffed.

"It's important to be ahead of the game. More time to study and all that," Spencer said.

Emily scoffed again. "You're such a smart ass. Don't you ever catch a break?"

"When was the last time you weren't in a pool for three days straight?" Spencer smartly questioned back.

"Fair point, but if you burn out by twenty I get to say 'I told you so'," Emily said.

Spencer smirked. "It's not going to happen."

"Need I remind you of the Starbucks incident?"

Spencer's eyes bugged out. "Don't. I was deprived all day. What did you expect?"

"One crisply cold December morning, Spencer Hastings got up to go to her local Starbucks for her first dose of caffeine. Little did the staff know, Spencer was serious about her coffee. Serious enough to casually walk to the employees only area and make herself a brew. Unfortunately, Spencer was caught and is now on the blacklist for Starbucks," Emily narrated, barely controlling herself from laughing.

"Fields..." Spencer warned.

"All in good fun. You actually impressed me by doing that. You got balls, Hastings."

They consumed their ice cream in comfortable silence.

"So," Emily started and then trailed off.

"What?" Emily said nothing, leaving the single syllable up in the air.

Spencer sighed. "Spit it out. What do you want?"

"Nothing!" Emily held up her hands in surrender.

"That's not true," Spencer said plainly.

"You just seem to be handling your breakup a little too well."

"And your point is?"

"Okay, okay. I know you said you're fine. But that's a front. You don't have to be all noble. It's obvious that Samara hurt you a lot. I mean, cheating is absolutely terrible. If you need to rant I'm all ears."

Spencer was just trying to have an quiet day, visiting her favorite place other than the library and not think about Samara for a while. Why did Emily have to push this so hard?

"Em, it's been a week and I don't even want to _talk_ about Samara. At all. Yes, I am pissed off and disgusted at what Samara did and how she left me with little to no closure. Still, it's been a week. I've calmed down. I'm just done with this entire thing."

"How? She left you with so many unanswered questions and little explanation!" Emily's eyes flared with rage. "God, she cheated on you! Shouldn't you be ready to slash her tires or something?! How can you be so apathetic!" Spencer's eyes widened. Emily continued ranting. "You deserve to be furious right now and yet you're here, studying!" She ran her hand through her hair, a habit when she was upset. "But should you be angry? Maybe it was justified in some fucked up way? Was it her fault or," Emily's voice caught, the pain in her voice significant. "Was it yours? Should you have ended it earlier? Would it have hurt less?" Emily's tone turned melancholy, her anger dissipating like a block of ice melting quickly when dropped into a boiling pot of water.

"Don't you wonder if you could've done that one thing better and then all this wouldn't have happened? Don't you wonder if you were the one who started the domino effect?" Emily's eyes were downcast.

Spencer didn't answer, instead choosing to answer a question with a question. "Em, where is this coming from? Are you and Paige okay?"

"Define okay," Emily mumbled.

"Did you guys break up?"

Emily wiped a tear trickling from her eye. She inhaled and exhaled deeply in order to stop the cracking in her voice, although it was fruitless. "Y-yeah," Emily answered with tears finally dripping freely. "She- she wants to be f-friends," the swimmer sobbed.

Spencer got up to from her seat and moved to Emily's side. She wrapped up Emily in the tightest hug she could do. "I'm here for you Em. Paige just doesn't know what's good for her. That's all." Emily continued to cry into her button down long sleeve. Spencer didn't mind. "Let it out."

They stayed in that embrace with Spencer playing with Emily's hair and whispering kind reassurances while Emily soaked Spencer's shirt with her tears for a long while until Emily's sobs subsided to quieter sniffling. Thankfully the other customers paid no mind.

The swimmer hiccuped. "Sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for her." Spencer poked Emily's nose lightly. "Absolutely nothing." The brunette put a strand of hair behind the other girl's ear.

"Still, I wet your shirt." Emily's face had such an amount of guilt on it that Spencer's heart broke.

"Shirts dry, don't worry about it." Emily released their embrace reluctantly and wiped her eyes.

"You can go back to your seat, Spence. It's a little cramped." Not that she really wanted Spencer to leave her side.

"Oh right, of course." She shuffled back to her seat. At least she could see Emily directly now.

"Well I guess I came to the perfect place for a break up huh? Ice cream," Emily said with a little smile.

Spencer chuckled softly. "Yeah, I guess you did."

Emily's make-up was screwed up and her eyes were puffy and red but Spencer couldn't help thinking that Emily was stunning anyways. It was amazing that Emily had stayed humble when she was so awfully pretty.

"You're really dressed up today. Any plans besides bumping into me at an ice cream shop?" Spencer immediately regretted asking when she saw Emily's face fall in shame.

"Uh, no," Emily admitted.

"I'm sorry Em. I didn't mean to pry," Spencer said hurriedly.

"No, it's not you. I'm just embarrassed that I spent so much time getting all done up just on the off chance I might see Paige and prove to her that I'm not, like, broken." Emily stared at her hands. Spencer choked up a little. Broken? Where on earth did that come from?

Spencer took the swimmer's hands and held them in her own. "You're not. Trust me Emily Lynn Fields, you are _not_ broken. You are strong and brave and everything everyone else wants to be but can't because they are _not_ Emily Lynn Fields."

She stretched her arm to gently poke Emily's nose. "Boop."

Emily giggled. "Thank you for your boops and being the greatest best friend ever. But please stop using my middle name, Spencer Cassidy Hastings."

Spencer gasped dramatically with her hand on her chest. "How dare you!"

"How dare I _what_ , Cassidy?" Emily had a mischievous glint in her eyes. Absolutely adorable.

"You doofus!" Spencer balled up her napkin and tossed it at Emily.

Emily groaned like she was shot. "You are _so_ going to pay for that Cassidy!" She grabbed the napkins container and quickly balled a few up before Spencer shot her body across the table, narrowly missing her waffle bowl, and snatched the napkins container.

"Yes! Supplies stolen!" As she cried out those words of victory, Emily threw a few expert shots at Spencer's face and one even smacked her right on the mouth. "You're going down Lynn!"

Spencer, with speed that would impress anyone, proceeded to ball up napkins with robotic inclination and pelted quite a pile at Emily. The swimmer could only stop the barrage with her arms. "Stop, stop!" Emily squealed. "Peace, no war! Stop this inhumane cruelty!"

"Do you surrender?"

Before Emily could respond, Jacqueline cut in. "What is exactly going on here ladies?"

"Uh..." Emily couldn't deny the fact that the floor had napkin grenades everywhere. "Nothing."

"I told you not to burn down this place, and I'm proud of you for not doing that, but I did not expect you to put a sizable dent in my napkin supplies," Jacqueline said with a serious face but eyes that were laughing.

"Sorry for causing a mess. It won't happen again, and I'll clean up," Spencer butt in. Emily thought it was cute but Spencer really had to stop with the self sacrificing.

"Me too," Emily volunteered.

Jacqueline appeared to ignore them completely as she regarded Spencer for a moment. "I recognize you! You're Veronica Hastings' daughter right?"

"Yeah, I'm Spencer. How'd you know?"

"I'm Jacqueline." They shook hands. Jacqueline was impressed with Spencer's strong grip. "Your mother graduated with my brother from Harvard." Jacqueline smiled fondly at Spencer. "If you've came here before, I was probably in the back or wasn't here at all. I wasn't in America for a few years."

"Oh, where did you travel?"

"Not travel, sunshine." Spencer's eyebrows knit for a moment before Jacqueline finally told her. "I was deployed to a base in South Korea."

"I'm guessing that's how you met Emily's dad."

"That's right." Jacqueline checked her watch. "Sorry Emmy but I need to leave for a meeting. It was nice meeting your girlfriend."

Both of their faces turned red. "She's not my girlfriend," they both said simultaneously.

"Alright, whatever you say, I am _late_." Jacqueline took off at a speed that astonished both of them.

A tense silence grew between them. Both of them were too uncomfortable to address what Jacqueline had assumed. Considering that they were both gay, it was a viable possibility, making the whole situation even more awkward. Spencer went back to her original activity, reading, and Emily whipped out her phone.

Her cheeks couldn't calm down. They were still a lovely shade of red and were determined to stay that way. Her mind couldn't stop repeating what Jacqueline had said. What if Spencer was her girlfriend?

Without even looking up, Emily could already picture how Spencer looked like right at that moment. The dip of her cupid's bow on her lips, the little cleft on her chin, her flawless cheekbones, and her eyes that were oh so attractive. She knew her so well and she was acutely aware that her best friend was uncomfortably attractive. Everything about Spencer was so perfect. She had always stored it to the back of her mind as harmless admiration, like a girl crush. Purely platonic she had told herself. But today, oh boy. Today was making her question everything. Emily could feel butterflies in her stomach. Her heart had swelled at how adorable Spencer was with their little napkin battle. At the same time, her heart sank at the overwhelming feeling that she was the only one feeling things. After all, they'd been best friends for years and there was no way that Spencer could be feeling something right now when she was. Just because she was strange didn't mean that Spencer was.

Spencer Cassidy Hastings was so gorgeous, inside and out. Her loyalty and stubbornness went hand in hand perfectly. Those qualities along with her sharp wit made her quite the foe in school. Emily had seen her defend the weak and teased courageously, like some sort of Joan of Arc. She was always in awe every time Spencer dealt a cunning blow to some bitch bothering them.

Oh shit. Emily was definitely feeling _something_.

* * *

The lack of speaking was suffocating Spencer. Emily was screwing around on social media for once just to have something to do. She looked like a little puppy as she fiddled around with her Snapchat. Spencer heard her whisper almost inaudibly to herself. "Geolocation stickers? What the fuck..."

Spencer couldn't take it. She blurted, "It's like a filter, just keep swiping left after you take a pic, but make sure you have your location services on." Emily stared at her. "Sorry."

"Thanks," Emily said quietly.

Spencer closed her book. "This doesn't have to be as weird as we're making it out to be."

"No it doesn't," Emily agreed.

"Then it won't be," Spencer said, not believing her own words.

"It won't," Emily repeated.

* * *

She shut the door and put her coat on the hook. The ride home had enough traffic to cause a slight headache.

"Spencer? Is that you?" Her mother called out.

"Yeah, just went to Philly," Spencer answered.

"Oh, where'd you go?"

Spencer shifted uneasily. She'd forgotten that her mother wasn't working today. It seemed rude of her not to invite her mother. "Uh, Jacqueline's. Sorry for not inviting you."

"It's been a while. We really need to go sometime together." Spencer nodded and sprinted off to her room.

* * *

Finally in the comforting dim lights of her bedroom Spencer could think and sort through the stampede of thoughts racing through her mind. Was she feeling something for Emily? Her best friend was so gorgeous that it was hard to think of a reason why she _hadn't_ felt anything before. What Jacqueline had said back there had really struck a chord with Spencer. Mostly disbelief. Emily was so wonderful that she deserved to be with someone who had her on their mind every single goddamn second. If Emily was her girlfriend she'd be the luckiest girl alive.

Spencer combed through all her past memories with the swimmer to detect if she had felt something before but suppressed or dismissed it. She vividly remembered being annoyed with Emily on numerous occasions since she so blindly followed Alison's words to a T. Could that have been jealousy? No. It was not, she simply did not like how Alison treated Emily, that was all. But what about that one Friday in ninth grade that Alison had asked Emily how she looked and Emily had simply gazed at her, dumbfounded and unspeaking. It had made Spencer's blood curdle.

But with all the pondering Spencer did, possibilities and doubt plagued her own certainty of events until she didn't know how she felt in the past anymore. She only knew what she felt now.

It was way too soon after Emily's breakup confession but Spencer could wait a thousand years if that meant a chance with her soulmate. Oh boy, she was _dead_ if she was thinking like this, this early.


	3. Chapter 3

**I hope everyone will have/ had a good time returning to school :)**

 _Chapter 3_

The Monday following what had ensued at Jacqueline's illustrated the confusion both girls were feeling.

Spencer was there at school before any of them as usual. Normally, Emily followed her and then Aria and finally Hanna. However, today Emily had arrived in her and Hanna's first period barely on the dot.

"Since the school requires me to read this bulletin for all students in my homeroom, I will do so. Students are reminded to abide all state laws, in particular the ones on transportation. Students are reminded to _not_ set off fireworks on school grounds at all times. This pertains to an incident in March that occurred on the school's parking lot. Students are reminded to-" The rest dissolved into a drone of meaningless gobbledygook to Hanna's ears. Seizing the opportunity, the blonde leaned over to the seat in front of her to the right. "Pssst! Emily!"

Emily's eyebrow quirked up. "What?" She whispered.

"Where were you two on Saturday? I had to watch Aria take two hours to pick a photo for her portfolio. It was pure torture." Hanna didn't bother too much with lowering her volume. It didn't matter now. They could've gotten away with singing karaoke for all the school cared. Ever since A's capture/death, and, ultimately, the intensive news coverage on their story, the school had given them an almost guaranteed graduation. The principal told the girls that he just wanted them to be at school most of the time. Good grades were a different beast altogether.

"I went to get ice cream," Emily answered.

"Yes, and that takes the whole day. Sure," Hanna said sarcastically with a roll of her eyes. "Where was Spencer?"

"Why don't you ask her and leave me alone?"

"Geez, Em. What crawled up your ass and died?"

Emily ignored her and turned her head back to the teacher. Hanna scoffed. "Okay, ignore me for asking a perfectly askable question. Fine."

Emily sighed and turned back to Hanna. "I'll call you after school or something."

"Why don't you tell me at lunch?"

Emily paused, as if she was contemplating the wording of her answer. "I don't want the other girls to know."

"Okay." Hanna thought for a moment, then groaned. "Wait, call after six. I have to help out Ted at the church." The tought of folding clothes for two hours was absolutely _enticing_.

"Have fun with _that._ "

"I know! I used to actually go shopping. Those were the days." Her time had been occupied lately with college related things. Between searching for an internship and volunteering at the church, there was barely enough time to go to the mall.

"The days of shoplifting, you mean."

"Shut the hell up."

* * *

Spencer sat down with her lunch at their table. Possessive, but it was true. It was almost like their territory. These last months would be the last times her bottom would sit on the seats. It made her oddly sentimental. "Hey Aria," she greeted the shorter girl.

"Hey Spence," Aria said distractedly. Her eyes were panicky and wide, and she looked sweaty. She was holding a plain manila folder.

"What's wrong?"

"Uh, nothing," Aria said.

"Hey. We're Team Sparia. What's up?"

"This is going to sound stupid but I can't figure out which photo I should put in my portfolio. I've chosen the others; they're all stellar. I really wish that didn't sound as arrogant as it did to me," Aria said sheepishly. "Anyways, I need to choose between these two." She laid down two photographs. Both depicted the same scenery, but at different angles. "But I can't. I don't know which one's better. Which one do you think I should use?"

Spencer bit her lip. She honestly liked the one on the right better, but it wasn't her call. "Why don't you just use them both?"

"I can't. They put a limit of twelve photographs and I'm pretty set on my others."

"Alright. You got a quarter on you?"

"Um, yeah." Aria fumbled around for her wallet and fished out the coin and gave it to Spencer.

"Okay. Heads is the photograph on the left. Tails is the photograph on the right. Whichever face it lands on is going to determine which one you're going to use. Yeah?" Aria nodded.

Spencer flipped the coin high up and Aria's breath caught. Spencer caught the quarter with a slap of her two hands.

"Well? Which side is it facing?" Spencer hadn't even looked at the coin.

"It doesn't matter." Spencer twirled the quarter on the table. "The question is: which one were you hoping for?"

Aria's brow furrowed in confusion. Then she smiled once she understood. "Oh my god, thank you Spencer." It was pure genius and an absolutely Spencer thing of her to do.

"Which one are you picking?"

"The one on the right. I don't know why, but the perspective is better."

"Yes!" Spencer highfived Aria. "I was betting on that one."

"What are you guys highfiving over? Did you guys get extra tater tots or something?" Hanna grumbled.

"Hello to you too," Aria muttered.

"Hi Emily," Spencer said stiffly.

"Hello Spencer," Emily said, just as awkwardly. Hanna and Aria looked at each other as if to say _do you know what's going on?_

The silence was glaringly obvious as the group munched on their lunch. Spencer finally glanced up at Emily whose hair had changed over the weekend to a light ombre. It looked great on the swimmer but she couldn't tell her that. Suddenly, the very girl she was staring at locked eyes with her. She looked down back at her food, blushing slightly.

"Okay, cut the crap. What's going on?" Aria demanded.

Spencer and Hanna looked to Emily and then at each other in a clashing three way eye contact battle. "Paige broke up with me," Emily said, using that piece of news to divert her friends' attention from the more pressing issues on her mind.

"What?!" Aria and Hanna exclaimed while Spencer sat in silence since she already knew that snippet of information.

"Yep."

"When did that bitch do this?!" Hanna asked angrily. If looks could kill, Paige would be six feet under.

"Last Wednesday."

"And you didn't bother to tell us?! She could be in the hospital right now, if you'd had told me earlier."

Emily laughed. "I knew you'd offer, and in the frame of mind I was in earlier... I probably would've let you."

"Damn right," Hanna said. "Stop avoiding the hippo in the room-"

"Elephant," Spencer corrected but Hanna waved her away and barreled on.

"-and tell me why the fuck Paige would make the worst mistake of her life."

Emily told the tale of Paily's breakup. Hanna scoffed in disgust. "Seriously?! She's such a coward. She never deserved you anyways Em."

"Still, I pushed her too hard to come out."

"No you didn't," Aria said with an odd air of wisdom, especially coming from someone so small. "You told her from the beginning of this ordeal that you weren't comfortable with being a secret. Em, that was the deal with your relationship in the first place. You only got together with her when she came out and not a second before. Paige was breaking a rule of your relationship that you clearly valued. You gave her an ultimatum and she chose someone else's feelings over yours. She was weak."

Hanna nodded to what Aria said. "Amen sister." She hugged Emily tightly. "Em, you deserve to be treated with so much more respect than what Paige gave you. Where she was weak, you were strong."

Emily was touched by her friends' responses. "I have the best friends in the world, I swear."

"You know it," Hanna winked.

* * *

Emily called the blonde around six thirty, well within Hanna's request.

"Han?"

"Wait! Hold everything!" Emily heard some rummaging in the background.

"Whoo, okay!"

"What was that?"

"Got some popcorn and closed the door. You can start spilling your guts now."

Emily rolled her eyes. "Gee thanks for getting refreshments before the Emily Fields show."

Hanna groaned impatiently. "And when will the curtains go up and the show begin?"

"Oh my gosh, stop it!" Emily laughed. "Where do I start?"

"Wherever!"

"I don't really want to rehash the whole Paige thing." Emily couldn't believe what she was going to say. "It's not what I really wanted to talk about. Spencer is."

"Spencer? As in Spencer Hastings?"

"I don't know any other." Granted, she had a pretty small group of friends. "I went to the ice cream parlor on Saturday, like I told you. But I didn't tell you that Spencer was there too."

"When I talked to her, she just seemed so calm about her breakup. It made me so frustrated because I was the opposite. I couldn't handle the fact that Paige and I had broken up. I ended up lashing out some of my own emotions onto her. My head was so fucked up. One second I was angry to the point of only seeing red, and the next second I was so sad and regretful that I wanted to beg Paige to never leave." Emily ran her hand through her hair, chuckling a little. "Oh my god, I was freaking crying my eyes out in an ice cream shop!"

"The thing is, Spencer just held me and comforted me. She was just so understanding and wonderful. Gosh, I pretty much soaked her shirt. The whole experience was just a giant hug, figuratively and literally. It was like taking a shower or something. Cathartic."

"Cathartic?"

"Like I was releasing all my emotions. Spencer just made me feel relaxed, you know?" Emily's voice dropped to a murmur. "I think that I like her."

"Spencer Hastings?"

"None other."

Hanna sucked in a breath. "Are you sure? I mean, she was there when you needed her and comforted you like you said. But are you sure that this isn't just a circumstantial thing? Maybe you did that thing animal babies do. The first living thing they see, they think it's their mother. Well for you it might be like Spencer was the first person who comforted you so you set your sights on her romantically."

"I'm not an animal. I didn't _imprint_ on the first thing I saw."

"I'm not saying you are, but Em, you've known her since second grade. Why would you just suddenly have feelings?"

Emily had given that line of questioning a lot of thought. "To be honest, I don't know. I just know these feelings are here. Now."

"Em, I don't really know what to say. I want you to be happy but if you and Spencer like each other and get together, what'll happen if you two break up? Aria and I will be forced to choose sides. I'm not trying to be selfish, I'm trying to be realistic."

"I guess you're right. She doesn't even like me so I don't know why I told you."

"I didn't tell you that you shouldn't try. I just warned you what could happen. Maybe she likes you too and you guys turn out to be soulmates. I can't stand in the way of true love. Plus, I'm a total sap so if you guys are the real deal, I call maid of honor!"

"You're gonna have to share with Aria, you know that! And do _not_ get my hopes up. Spencer's perfect and all kinds of amazing and I'm just plain vanilla Emily."

"Stop! Don't go any further with your 'I'm just Emily' bullshit! If I swung that way, I'd totally bang you. Like, 99% of the world would. Also, you like rocky road!"

Emily cracked up. She could always count on Hanna to cheer her up. "Thanks for the ego boost."

"No problem."

* * *

The next day Emily arrived at school early, like she always did. When she got to her locker though, she saw Spencer waiting for her. It made her heart flutter a bit to see the brunette's slim body casually leaning on her locker.

"Hey."

"Hey," Emily greeted back.

"Listen," Spencer said. "I have a problem.

Emily's eyes widened with concern. "What's wrong? Do you need to go to the nurse?"

"Nothing serious. It's just the after taste of what happened at Jacqueline's," Spencer explained. "I've only had good memories at that place. It's not sitting right with me to leave our memory like that."

"What are you trying to say here?"

"Do you want to go back tomorrow? One of my tutoring gigs bailed. You don't have after school swim practice since it's off season. You only have it on Tuesdays and Thursdays, right?"

"Yeah, I'm free." Emily was flattered that she knew her schedule even though that was nothing new with Spencer.

"Cool."

Hanna arrived with a bleary look in her eyes. "God, I am tired."

"Good morning to you too," Spencer said.

"Morning, Han," Emily quipped.

"Yeah, yeah," Hanna said irritably. "Where's Aria?"

"She's at Talmadge for a campus tour."

"Oh."

"Do you have a pad, Hanna?" Emily asked suddenly with direct eye contact only on the blonde. Hanna raised her eyebrows since she knew that Emily almost exclusively used tampons due to the fact that she was in the pool constantly.

"Uh, yeah. You want me to go to the restroom with you?" Emily nodded.

Spencer sputtered, "I guess I'll go visit my French teacher."

* * *

"Okay. What's up?"

"Apparently, I'm going to be with Spencer tomorrow at the same ice cream shop." Emily groaned. "This is so hard! She's making it worse. It's like a date!"

"Breathe. Jesus, calm down." Emily was pacing the tiled floor.

"Is it really my fault that she's driving me insane? All these mixed signals. At least in my head..."

Hanna sighed and put her weight on one of the stall doors. "Before all this A shit I would've gone through every interaction you guys have had. Would've obsessed and discussed until my brain exploded. But right now all I'm thinking is how short our life really is. We're graduating so soon. It just screws with my mind a little. What I guess I'm trying to say is..." She put her hands on Emily's shoulders. "If you have feelings you should just tell her. Regardless of how she'll react."

"That's literally the opposite of what you told me yesterday."

"My opinion changed the more I thought about it." Hanna shrugged. "You guys have always had a tighter bond. If any of us could be a couple, it would be you two. If it works out, it works out. If it doesn't, then it doesn't. You're just wasting time if you're going to do it anyways. Better sooner than later." Hanna stretched and smacked her lips. "I don't think I'm fully awake yet. I need a coffee ASAP." Her yawn was abruptly interrupted by a hug from Emily.

"Thanks, Han," Emily said gratefully while squeezing the air out of her best friend. She looked at the blonde gratefully but her face dropped when she saw the bags under Hanna's eyes. "Are you getting enough sleep?"

"Yesterday I stayed up looking for scholarships online. Apparently there isn't a scholarship for being stalked for two years. So I guess I'm getting a job."

"Take care of yourself, Han. I worry."

"You too."

* * *

Emily was quite invigorated by Hanna's pep talk and it showed. Her demeanor was a complete 180 from yesterday. The swimmer was sweet and smiley and altogether cheerful.

"What are you thinking about?" Hanna had noticed a smile on Spencer that had stayed plastered on her face. Hanna had a guess on why she was smiling but she wanted to get the brunette to admit it. "AP French is _not_ supposed to be fun."

"Uh, nothing." To be perfectly honest, admitting that she was just imagining Emily smiling would be a bit humiliating.

"It's definitely not 'nothing' if it's got you like this. So is it a cute boy? Cute _girl_?"

Spencer blushed heavily. "No."

"Spencer!" Hanna glared at the brunette with as much intensity as she could muster.

"Okay! Okay." She paused, contemplating if she wanted to tell her best friend right at that moment.

"Well?!" Spencer sputtered helplessly, unsure of whether she was going to answer or not. "I'm not getting younger here!"

"Fine! I like Emily," Spencer said bluntly.

"Holy shit."

Spencer shook her head like she was in disbelief as well. "Yeah..." She really needed to put more thought in how to break this type of news.

"Are you going to tell her?"

"I don't know. Maybe? Probably?" Spencer put her hands up. "She might not even like me! Scratch that, she _definitely_ doesn't like me," she said.

Hanna rolled her eyes. "Yeah, confessing your feelings does have its risks." She paused. "Along with _everything else_ in this world!" Hanna barked, "Spencer! Get your head back in place! You _are_ confessing to her. Stop being stupid and just tell her!"

"But-"

"Nope! I am not listening to you. You're being dumb. Seize the day! Catfish diem, or whatever."

"Carpe diem?"

"Did I not say I was done listening?"

Although Hanna had gone about this aggressively, Spencer knew that the blonde had the right intentions. "I'm going to tell her."

"Finally."

* * *

That night, both girls slept fitfully. Emily rolled around, only sleeping for a few minutes at a time. Her mind was distracted by the not-date she had with the brunette. Her worries kept her up until two in the morning when she finally went to sleep. Spencer slept in three hour intervals, waking up to check the time to fall back to the land of slumber. Her dreams consisted of memories with Emily, only she looked like how she looked currently. She saw herself in elementary and middle school interacting with Emily, like a stranger peering in.

Emily's grip tightened on her steering wheel. Her eyes stayed on the road, unwavering for even a millisecond of distraction. Traffic was less stressful for her, the clogging of cars was more of a comfort than an annoyance. If she was closed in, nothing could get in.

Spencer's Mercedes-Benz SUV was in right in front of her the entire trip to Jacqueline's. Her fingers didn't loosen until she was completely parked.

"Shall we?" Spencer held the door open for her.

"Thank you."

Mary and Jacqueline weren't there today. Figures. It was a Wednesday after all. Spencer and Emily both got their usual orders and sat down in a booth.

"That's too much ice cream," Emily commented. The scoops were enormous here. Two was more than enough and Spencer had four.

"There is no such thing as too much ice cream, only too little."

Emily looked outside. The park she and her father frequented was three blocks away. "How did you get to know this place? It's not as popular or well known as it should be. Seems kind of unlikely for you to stumble on this after your library trips."

Spencer smiled. "I really need to go on another library trip." The brunette lamented the lack of pleasurable reading that had occurred the past couple of years. Most of the time she was scouring dusty archives. "It was actually my mom. She knew Jacqueline's brother remember?"

Emily nodded and gestured for her to go on. "She took me here one day after I had to stay with her for a client meeting. My babysitter and sister were unavailable, you see."

"She was feeling guilty about being at work all the time. She apologized and we exchanged I love you's. We even discussed my birthday slumber party. It was so heartwarming." Spencer laughed. "Although I was a stone cold bitch and didn't even recognize what my mom was trying to say. This placed turned out to be where my mom and I used to hang out if we were both free. Unsurprisingly, we haven't gone together in a while."

"Wow, this place is pretty sacred to you, huh?"

"Yeah," Spencer agreed. "This place always cheers me up. That's why I wanted us to come here again since I didn't want any memory here to not be a totally positive one."

Emily let those words sink in. "I get that. Some places should be untouched." Emily thought for a moment then spoke, "I'm surprised we haven't ran into each other even once. I've been going here since I was six. Of course my Dad and I only go maybe twice a year, but still."

"Maybe we have, just not when we knew each other."

"Yeah, maybe."

Spencer noticed that Emily's ice cream was starting to melt a bit. "Em, your ice cream needs rescuing."

"Oh crap," Emily said, desperately using her tongue to clean up the cone and her fingers. Spencer got a napkin and reached over to dab the corner of Emily's mouth that had a little bit of rocky road ice cream on it. Emily blushed. "You could've just told me, you know." The distance between them was miniscule with Spencer's torso leaning across the table to get to her.

"Yeah, I could have," Spencer said quietly. She could kiss Emily right now, right then if she just moved a little closer.

Spencer's breath had ghosted Emily's lips. They were that close. Their eyes were staring at each other intensely. Brown against brown. After what seemed like forever, Spencer slid back to her seat.

"I'm guessing this place is pretty precious to you and your dad too," Spencer said. Emily had to wait a few seconds for herself to process what Spencer had said since her head was an absolute jumbled mess.

"Yeah. We came here every time he came back home. Like you, I only went with one parent, my dad. It was pretty special. We'd go to the park a couple blocks from here afterwards. During those days I felt like I could tell him everything. Every little problem I told him, he told me it would be okay."

Emily continued, "When we came here, I _knew_ I was loved. That's why I get what you mean by only having good memories associated with this place. Every time I think of Jacqueline's, I think of ice cream and my Dad, two of my most favorite things in the world. Something that makes you happy shouldn't be tainted." She had a small smile on her face from just thinking everything.

"I'm glad we both share this place," Spencer said. Emily nodded in agreement and started digging into her ice cream. Spencer followed suit.

Truly, the swimmer had looked utterly endearing talking about her father. Her eyes had shone from just talking about her memories. The smile that had graced her face was so cute it made Spencer's heart swell like she was the grinch who stole Christmas. Spencer's feelings were pounding in her head but to take any of it to action felt like she was playing Russian roulette with her heart.

Her hands had gotten sweaty but she tried to ignore it since Emily would notice and ask for the issue. Trying to distract herself she asked, "Have you narrowed down any colleges yet?"

Spencer knew that Emily had been scouted by quite a few colleges but the humble swimmer kept her achievements to herself most of the time.

"Let's see. Danby actually gave me a partial scholarship but I don't know if I can afford it even with that. One offer that I'm seriously considering is Stanford. I know it's all the way in California but they're giving me a full ride on a swimming scholarship. It's too good to pass up. A few other places promised a full scholarship too but none as good as Stanford."

Spencer's heart seemed to catch in her throat, but she cleared it away. "That's great! You should definitely compare all of them and if Stanford is the best standing then off to Stanford you go."

"I still have a bit of time to think about it. Stanford is so far, I think my mom would die from the distance. Plus, Danby's been my dream ever since I started swimming." Emily rubbed her chin. "I'm leaning towards Stanford though. I think the best choice would be for me to just focus academically without worrying about money issues. Over at Stanford they're offering me that. I don't know how I'll deal with living all the way in California. When I talk about college, all of it suddenly becomes too real. High school was so slow and fast at the same time. I don't know if I'm ready to do anything."

"Whatever choice you make, do it for yourself," Spencer reminded her.

"I know," Emily responded softly. "What about you?"

"UPenn, definitely. I would be a Hastings disgrace if I didn't get accepted but I don't know if that's what I want anymore." Spencer sighed. She was exhausted by her family constantly looking down on her and just expecting her to do excellent."Harvard or Yale has been an option in the back of my mind for a while now. I heard it's harder to get in, but I don't know. I want some distance away from my parents. From this town." Rosewood was a town that could destroy her. Spencer needed to take a step back from the madness.

Emily nodded, perfectly understanding what Spencer was coming from. "When you do go attend any of those places, I'll be in the Californian sun. We're going to be on opposite coasts. That really sucks."

"Damn. That does." Spencer's heart wrenched at the thought of having thousands of miles between them. "I'm going to miss you a lot, Em."

"Ditto, Spence."

They dug at their ice cream, deep in thought for their quickly approaching future.

"Sorry for bringing up such a heavy topic."

"No worries. Nothing compared to what we've seen and done, right?" The amount of dead bodies they had seen was terrifically horrific.

"Yeah."

Emily booped Spencer's nose. "Your nose is so cute."

Spencer giggled. "Remember that time you had that cut on your lip from the letter opening incident?"

Emily rolled her eyes. "Oh shut up. I can't believe you even remembered. Seriously. Has four years done nothing to make you forget?"

"Nope."

"Ugh, you are insane. Like your enormous ice cream serving. Jesus, where does it all go?"

"Who knows? I'm about insane as your rocky road ice cream. Marshmallows do not belong in ice cream."

"'They yearn for what they fear for,'" Emily quoted.

"Did you just quote Dante's The Divine Comedy?"

Emily sucked in her cheeks. "Maybe."

"You did! Brava, Emily Lynn Fields!"

"Oh shut up," Emily said with burning cheeks.

"And you say _I'm_ the nerd," Spencer retorted. "Clearly, you haven't met yourself."

"Only in the mirror," Emily replied.

"I guess you would've been too busy checking your hot body out to notice any personality," Spencer drawled, desperately trying to play it off as nonchalant and natural as possible.

If people could combust, Emily just did. Spencer had just blatantly flirted with her, and damn, it was hot. "Are we talking about my body? Or are you referring to your own?" Emily hoped she sounded confident.

Before Spencer could respond, or fail to, Emily's phone cockblocked them. Or clam jammed them in this case since they were both girls that did not possess male genitalia.

"Emily?"

"Yeah, mom?"

"I want you to come home for dinner. The station finally let me out early for once. I'm cooking you some of your favorite curry."

"Alright. Be there in an hour."

"Bye, Emily. I love you."

"Bye, Mom. I love you too." She hung up and gathered her bag and things to get up.

"You're leaving," Spencer said with a disappointed tone. She had stood up as well.

"Yeah. I'm sorry Spencer. I know you wanted to hang out more. I wanted to too, believe me," Emily said. "It's just my mom. She-"

"You don't have to explain. It's okay," Spencer reassured her.

"Thanks Spence. For what it's worth, I had a great time with you."

"Me too."

They were standing close to each other. Spencer's eyes were filled with something that Emily thought she could see in her own.

"I have one regret to amend before we leave though," Spencer said in her slightly raspy voice that made Emily question her knees' abilities.

"And what's that?"

"Not saying that I like you," Spencer replied.

"I think you just solved that regret," Emily said softly with a grin. "I like you too."

The ice cream shop could've been an EDM concert for all that Emily cared. Right in that moment, all the other people disappeared. She and Spencer were the only ones. Her eyes were on Spencer's increasingly enticing lips. Guessing from the gaze Spencer was giving her, Spencer was on the same page as Emily. "Since you got to do the first move, would you mind if I did the second?"

"Go for it," Spencer whispered.

She moved her head forward at a tilted angle and met Spencer's lips. The brunette's lips were soft, and they instantly overloaded Emily's brain. All she could concentrate on was their lips moving. No way were her eyes open. They were closed and enjoying every second of their kiss.

Spencer was dimly aware of their noses clashing when Emily went for the kiss, but now, with the swimmer's beautiful plush lips against hers, nothing was going through her mind except how great it felt. Their lips were perfect against each other. Emily's arms were around Spencer's lower waist and Spencer's was slung around Emily's neck. It just felt right.

Their short bliss was interrupted by the lack of air. Spencer broke their kiss first, gasping heavily. "I guess all that swimming came in handy for the ladies, huh?"

"You could say that," Emily said smirking. "Nice mint flavor by the way."

"You're just lucky marshmallows are relatively tasteless," Spencer responded. "And it's a blessing you haven't acquired any more cuts on your lips." Emily rolled her eyes.

"My mom is waiting for me," Emily said.

Spencer pouted. "Really? Right when we finally do this?"

"Yes, you nerd. I need to go, for real." God, Emily wanted to stay and talk more and hopefully kiss more, but if she admitted that both of them wouldn't be going anywhere for a while."

Spencer frowned. "We were just getting started."

"Being needy is not a great way to start this off with," Emily teased. "See you soon Spencer." She was a foot out the door when Spencer ran up to her. The brunette kissed her this time. It was a fierce, searing kiss, like molten lava. The desire between both of them was immense.

"Mmm," Spencer moaned quietly. Emily thought it was the most delicious sound she had ever heard.

"Spence," Emily said, struggling when the other's lips were practically begging her to stay wordlessly. "I need to go."

Spencer let up and Emily immediately missed the contact.

"Bye. For real this time." Emily smiled at Spencer's slightly bruised lips.

"See you soon Emily." They both went to each of their cars. Right when Spencer thought Emily was out of sight, she smiled widely and danced a little jig, giggling over what had just occurred.

"I can see you, you know," Emily said with amusement. Spencer had, in her understandable temporary state of absentmindedness, forgotten that her car was parked in front of Emily's.

Spencer couldn't respond and stood there, embarrassed from being caught during her victory dance.

"You're so dumb," Emily said before pecking her cheek.

"I'm just going to leave now," Spencer said hurriedly. "You saw _nothing._ "

"I definitely saw something, Cassidy," Emily said while checking out Spencer's backside.

Needless to say, the ride home was nice.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey y'all! Expect updates to come every two weeks or so. Have a nice day.**

 _Chapter 4_

"What happened when I was gone?" Aria demanded.

"Spencer and Emily made up," Hanna said with a shrug. "Can I take a shit now?" They were in their usual gossip cove, the girls' restroom.

"I get that, but don't you think they've been a little touchy feely lately?" Her best friends were a lot more huggy and hands-on it seemed. Seeing the two strolling around with linked arms was a bit startling when compared to the tension from a few days ago.

"They've gotten closer and their friendship is blossoming. So what? Now excuse me before I become constipated." Hanna walked into a stall and locked it.

"Is this going to take a long time?"

"Oh, it's a whopper alright." Toilet conversations were commonplace to them. "How much discharge is normal? I swear, I have way more than I should have."

"That sounds like a question for your doctor, Hanna."

~x~

Spencer and Emily were already at their lunch table, laughing over something and shooting each other glances. Jesus, they were not good at hiding whatever they had going on. Did they want to get caught by Aria? Not that they had anything to hide. Those two idiots would never have been able to sneak around like me and Caleb, Hanna thought.

"Do you see them?!" Aria whispered angrily.

"Friendship game strong," Hanna commented. Just gals being pals...

"H-hey guys," Spencer said looking up. She was trying and failing to stop tittering.

"What are you two laughing at?" Aria asked with a shark-like smile.

"Nothing of importance, really." Aria's gaze intensified. Something suspicious was going on. They were both looking at Emily's phone, each with an earbud stuck in their ear.

Emily was not laughing as bad as Spencer but she was smiling nonetheless. Whatever they were watching seemed to end since they looked up finally to their friends and took their earbud out.

"Anything happen today with you?"

"What were you guys watching?" Aria inquired, ignoring Emily's question. "We're at school, hope you guys realize that and if you get sent to the Dean... I was _not_ involved-"

Emily snickered. "Relax." She showed Aria her phone.

"Season 4 Episode 6 of Spongebob? What the fuck?" Aria exclaimed. Emily shrugged helplessly.

"Turns out Spencer never experienced this beloved show."

"How did Spongebob turn Spencer into a mess?!"

"Hey!" Spencer huffed indignantly.

"Yeah, don't shit on Spongebob. It was my life," Hanna confessed.

"You guys are so weird," Aria said.

"Aria... You wore a skirt made out of ties once. Let's not forget the foil pants and foil jacket. Or the pants that looked like-" Emily was interrupted with Aria speaking.

"Okay, I get it Ms. Flannel and Jeans."

"It's a classic combo," Emily argued.

"I like her flannel and jeans," Spencer said, gazing at Emily.

Aria looked at Hanna in disbelief. "What the hell happened when I was gone?!" She was so confused. It was almost like they were together, the way they were eye-fucking each other.

Spencer glanced at Emily as if looking for permission. Emily nodded slightly. "I'm just going to say this. I like Emily and she likes me. Romantically." Spencer waited for Aria's reaction.

Aria was flabbergasted. Two of her best friends together? Spencer and Emily? They were both gay but there were a lot of gay fish in the sea, right? Why each other? What if they broke up? Their group would be forever changed and broken in ways that wouldn't and couldn't be healed. Why would they try something that had the possibility of wrecking the only constant thing they had, their friendship? If they didn't have their friendship, A would win. Why would they give A the chance to win? Didn't they understand that they had fought for their life just to have what they had? Why would they even try rocking the boat? She felt a bit lightheaded but it only lasted a second.

Spencer studied Aria's expression of surprise. She looked frozen and her eyes were wide as saucers as if the information had overwhelmed her. "Are you okay?"

"I-I," Aria stuttered. "I don't know what to say."

"We were hoping that you'd be alright with it," Emily suggested gently.

Aria drew out her words slowly, "I'm not sure if I am."

Emily's breath hitched. It was likely that Aria had a problem with the fact that she and _Spencer_ were together, not her being gay. But the possibility of it being a bad reaction to her sexuality was already attacking her mind. No matter how long she was completely out, the fear of backlash affected her. Not enough to not come out to people, but enough to be a bit hesitant.

"Why not?" Spencer asked, automatically sensing Emily's discomfort.

"If you guys break up, or if one of you gets hurt, we'll be forced to choose sides. This entire dynamic we have going will be ruined," Aria said. "I just don't want us to change. You, Em, and Hanna have been my family for a really long time. I don't want to lose that."

"You're not going to," Hanna told her. She understood where the shorter girl was coming from since she felt the same before. "They're still going to be our best friends. The only relationship that is changing is between the both of them, and it's a positive change. They're lucky that they've fallen in love with their best friend. Someone to accept who they are, someone to laugh with. I would kill to be with that person. Wouldn't we all?"

"Did you just _somewhat_ quote Faking It?" Emily had recently gotten the blonde to watch it.

Aria gave them a tight smile, forced and fake. "I can't say I'm a hundred percent for this. I just don't know."

"C'mon Aria. We're still Sparia," Spencer said.

"Maybe when you need someone on your side after a breakup," Aria shot back. "Is it so bad that I want us not to get hurt?"

"And exactly what are you protecting us from? Me? Or Emily? You're just being selfish Aria," Spencer accused. "I can't believe you would be so afraid of a possibility instead of being excited by it." She angrily shoved salad in her mouth.

"Let's just enjoy our lunch then," Hanna said.

~x~

Spencer flopped onto the bed face down and screamed into her pillow.

"Yeah, yeah," Hanna said absently while painting her toes. "Should I do all of them the same color or mix it up a little?"

"It doesn't matter. Your employer is going to focus on what spews out your mouth not your toe nail color. Just don't try neon orange or something."

"Neon orange? Ugh, you don't give me enough credit," Hanna said. "That's more Aria's speed."

"Speaking of Aria...What the hell is her problem?" Spencer was annoyed with Aria's negative reaction to her relationship. She'd expected more enthusiasm and support.

"She just hasn't seen how you two act. Literally, you and Em are like teenage boys," Hanna said. "And I get what she's saying. She just wants her best friends to stay best friends. She's lost a lot. Her mom and dad aren't getting back together anytime soon and Mike hasn't been a model citizen either."

"You're right... It's just frustrating since nothing is going to change. Just between Emily and I. Yet she doesn't understand that."

"You're giving her space which is good."

"Mostly because I'm swamped with debate team work. One of my teammates had to go to a funeral in freaking Mexico so they'll be gone for a week and so I had to pick up where he left off. Not to mention the competition's in two weeks. Two!" Spencer buried her face into her hands.

"Yeah, whatever."

"Have a little compassion!"

"I have to nail this job interview or guess what? I can't afford college! I'm hoping to work for the boutique in Philly. It would help everything. If I had that job, it could count as field experience as well as going towards my tuition at a _very_ expensive fashion school. So, _sorry_ if I'm not completely interested in your problems but I'm trying to look out for my future." Hanna's tone was curt.

"I'm sorry," Spencer said. "I didn't realize you had a lot on your plate right now. You want me to help out with potential interview questions?"

Hanna let out a breath. "Yeah, I'd like that. Sorry for going at you like that."

"It's okay."

~x~

Spencer took out her textbook for her first period, Calculus BC. Normally, she would've looked forward to the class but the week had been torture. The debate work was a heavier burden than it seemed. Thank god that the school week ended on Fridays.

"Hey beautiful." Emily was holding a single deep red rose.

"Aw Em, you're sweet," Spencer gushed.

"Nothing less for you," Emily replied shyly. "Are you free Saturday?"

"Wait, hold that thought," Spencer fished out her phone and scrolled through her schedule praying that she didn't have anything planned. "Yep, I'm all yours."

"Great, I'll pick you up at three tomorrow. Dress casually."

"Oh, it's a surprise."

"I have a blindfold and everything." Spencer smirked, prompting Emily to quickly add, "Not for whatever you're thinking, weirdo."

"Whatever you say."

"You're so weird."

"But you like weird."

Emily sighed heavily, "Don't tell anyone that."

"My lips are sealed."

Emily rummaged through the side pockets of her messenger bag and pulled out a silver travel mug. "For you. It's coffee. Black like your soul."

"I'm offended but flattered. You did it how I like it." Spencer took a swig of the wonderful drink. "Thanks."

"No problem. I know you're stressed out as hell this week. I just wish you'd relax."

"If I was relaxed, I wouldn't be me."

"It just worries me a little bit. You're going at a hundred miles per second and I feel like I'm slowly inching along."

"I like being occupied."

"I like that about you," Emily confessed. Brown eyes met the others, both filled with passion. The two exchanged lip contact. It was hesitant at first, like asking for permission, since they didn't know how the other one felt about public displays of affection. They quickly loosened up and were approaching hot and heavy territory when they were abruptly interrupted.

"Ahem," Hanna announced to the pair.

Emily stared wide eyed at Hanna; Spencer had the same expression.

"Get a room. Or a janitor closet. It's not that hard, Jesus Christ."

"Morning Hanna," Spencer greeted.

"Good morning Hanna," Emily addressed.

"Yeah, yeah. Now explain the rose, you saps."

"I just asked Spencer out on a date this Saturday," Emily told her. "She accepted, by the way."

"Of course, what'd you expect? I would've too. You guys are too cute. I'm going to need to puke."

Spencer checked her watch. "Sorry guys but I have to turn in this speech to my debate coach before class starts."

"It's alright. Do you want me to come with you?"Emily offered.

"No! Calculus is on the way and it's all the way across the campus. I don't want you to walk all the way back."

"You sure?"

Spencer nodded. "Wow, being so possessive already. Damn, Em, give a girl room to breathe."

"Sorry."

"It's fine." Spencer kissed Emily's cheek. "Bye, beautiful."

"Thanks," Hanna responded.

~x~

Spencer checked her outfit one more time, just to make sure nothing was astray. She knew that Emily had told her to dress casually, and she had, but she had to satiate that urge to make absolutely certain that nothing was wrong. Not that much could go wrong with a plain grey v-neck, navy cardigan, and skinny jeans. True, she'd put a bit more effort on eyeliner today than she had yesterday, but Emily was worth that effort.

She descended the stairs to the kitchen to grab a glass of water.

"Are you going anywhere today?" Her mother had started to take off weekends more it seemed.

"Yeah. I'd meant to tell you this earlier, but I'm going out with Emily."

"I'm guessing not as friends."

"You're right."

Veronica Hastings looked a bit haggard. Wrinkles that weren't there the last time Spencer had seen her were now on her skin. Her shoulders sagged with invisible weight. Spencer had always pushed aside the thought that A had affected her mother significantly aside from police hassle. But now with visual proof, Spencer was hit by guilt.

"Just don't get hurt Spencer. I like Emily. I don't think you two will get into trouble. Don't invite it." Her mother gave her a small smile.

"We won't."

The doorbell rang. Spencer checked the eyehole and opened the door for Emily. The swimmer was holding out a bouquet of roses, identical to the one from the day before. "Hi Spence."

"Wow, thank you!" Spencer took the bouquet from Emily carefully and set it on a table. "You're too sweet."

Emily blushed and looked down at the floor.

"Hello Emily." Her head snapped up.

"Hey Mrs. Hastings."

"I won't keep you two. Have a nice time." They both nodded.

"So, you want to go?" Emily inquired.

"Sure." The two walked down to Emily's sedan.

"Shotgun!" Spencer yelled as Emily unlocked her car. Spencer rushed inside leaving Emily trailing behind.

"Okay, let me just blindfold you real quick..." Emily took out a thick, red blindfold.

"Are you serious right now?" Spencer asked incredulously.

"Duh, it's a surprise. Heard of it?"

"Fine, fine." Spencer gave up and let Emily tie the headband around her eyes. "You know, we're driving around in public. People are going to think you're kidnapping me or something."

"No, they'll think we're being kinky."

"Don't blame me if we get pulled over by the cops because of my suspicious appearance."

"Nothing is going to happen, nerd."

"If you say so..."

"Just sit here while I check on something." Spencer heard Emily open her door and close it. After two minutes, the door opened and closed again.

"Sorry for keeping you waiting. Now we can go." Emily started up the engine but experimented a bit with the brakes and gas. Spencer could hear her testing the turn signals too. And then they finally hit the road.

"What were you checking back there?" Spencer had a pretty good idea of what Emily was doing since she did the same.

"Nothing."

"Should I be worried?" Spencer joked.

"Nope."

They drove for a while in silence. Emily sighed delicately, just barely audible to Spencer's ears. "I was giving the car a once-over, y'know, just checking that nothing was out of place or whatever. Nothing stray attached. I guess it's just a nervous tick. From the car accident." Emily cleared her throat. "I didn't want you to know. It's kinda illogical, I know. And _insanely_ paranoid of me."

"It's okay Em. If I said anything different, I'd be a hypocrite because I do the same thing."

"Really?"

"Yeah. You probably don't know that Aria hasn't been able to drive at all." Spencer had heard from Mike that Aria shook so much at the wheel that she could barely insert the key, much less drive.

"I don't blame her."

"I don't either." Hell, it had taken her a month before she could step foot into a car. "Are we there yet?" Spencer asked in an uncanny Spongebob imitation.

"We're almost there, you weirdo. Just a few minutes now."

The car stopped at last. Emily reached over, lightly grazing Spencer's cheek as she untied the blindfold. "Hi." Spencer's eyes adjusted until she saw Emily's eyes staring at hers.

"Where are we?" She tore her eyes from Emily's and observed her surroundings. They were in a parking lot, but not too far from them was an arcade. "An arcade? And pizza?"

"Yep. I figured our first date should be as relaxed and casual as possible. Unless you wanted something more formal. If you do, we can just go back and resched-" She was stopped by Spencer's finger on her mouth.

"Shush, you idiot. It's perfect."

"Thanks." Emily kissed Spencer's fingertip. "C'mon, nerd."

~x~

Slice o' Fun was a regular, honest pizza parlor and amusement arcade. Chock full of air hockey tables, skeeball, car racers, and pinball machines. The place was a myriad of game sounds and colored lights. Spencer was practically vibrating from excitement and Emily couldn't help smiling from the brunette's eagerness.

"You want to get some food first or play first?"

"Anything's fine. I'm not too hungry right now."

"Alright. I'm going to go get a game card. Can you go buy the pizza?"

"Sure."

Emily returned to the table they were at before and saw Spencer waiting for her at their table with the pizza. "You could've just ate a slice already."

"No, I needed to wait for you." They each got a paper plate and a slice. Emily took a bite out of her slice and moaned at how delicious it tasted. The cheese was _there_ , stretchy and abundant. The pepperoni slices were thick and the slice as a whole was a thing of heft. In short, they were in heaven.

"I don't know about you, but I plan on finishing this whole thing," Emily said.

"Don't count me out too soon!" Spencer exclaimed, taking an enormous bite for emphasis.

"You've got tomato sauce on the left corner of your mouth. No, not that left. _Your_ left. Up. Right there."

"Thanks." Spencer took another huge bite, getting even more tomato sauce on herself. Emily restrained herself from commenting until Spencer was done.

Unsurprisingly, Spencer finished first. Her stomach was infamous in its ability to hold everything but not show a thing.

"How?!" Spencer had just polished off her third slice while Emily was still on her second.

"It's a gift."

Emily decided that she couldn't handle another slice. "I think I'm done."

"Here let me take your trash," Spencer offered.

"No I can do it myself," Emily started but Spencer had already snatched her plate. "Thanks."

"No problem." Spencer disposed their plates in a nearby trash can. "Now can we play that?"

"Air hockey?"

"Yeah, that."

Emily swiped the game card, grabbed her mallet, and obtained the puck from the slot on the bottom of her side of the table. "You ready?"

"Of course."

Emily gave an easy stroke to Spencer. The brunette returned swiftly.

"I know the basics, but I have to admit that I've never played this before. Or been to an arcade."

"You're doing great for a beginner." They'd been going back and forth with no goals on either side. Suddenly, Spencer hit the puck with more intensity, winning her a point. "Oh it's _on._ " Emily concentrated her strokes more, attacking with ferociousness. The swimmer tied the score.

"Letting out the big guns now?" Spencer caught on quickly, defending her area well, but Emily had much more experience. The preppy brunette stuck with straight shots while Emily risked taking wild angles, bouncing the puck off the air hockey table's sides. The two were evenly matched, down to a win or die point. Emily leaned over to shoot the puck from the side, but Spencer anticipated this and shot into her goal when she was exposed. "Yes!"

"Two out of three?"

"You're being a sore loser."

"I let you have a couple points in the beginning. For real this time."

Spencer's eyes narrowed. "Okay, but whoever loses has to do Hanna's math homework for a week."

"Deal."

The two put an incredible amount of effort in, enough to draw a small crowd of three families to watch them as they dueled. Emily did an unexpected straight shot into the goal, quick as a bullet. Spencer flew to defend her area but it was too late.

"Ohhhhh! And Emily defends her rightful throne as the air hockey champion!" Emily commentated. The crowd hooted and clapped, drawing a couple more spectators in.

"Oh shut up! We have one last game. This game defines everything."

Emily cracked her knuckles. "Let's go."

The two played a practically perfect game, each scoring and gaining evenly, like before. The game came down to the last point like the others did. It was Emily's turn to serve the puck, but she hit it strangely, sending the puck into the air and crashing into Spencer's hand.

"Ow!" Spencer cried out from the unexpected pain.

"Oh god!" Emily immediately dropped her mallet and rushed over to Spencer's side. Spencer was massaging her middle and index finger. Her digits had red spots that Emily worried would bruise. "I'm so sorry. This is all my fault; I think I have a first aid kit in my bag. Wait here while I-"

"Calm down Em! I'm fine! It was just unexpected. As long as someone doesn't randomly put a dumbbell on my hand, I'll be fine," Spencer said reassuringly.

"Are you sure? You want me to get ice?" Emily asked nervously.

"No, let's just finish this game and settle this once and for all." Before Emily could protest, Spencer asked her, "Where's the puck?"

The puck had disappeared after bouncing off Spencer's hand. "Okay, let's try to look for it. Can't be too far."

The crowd of spectators had also started to help them look for the elusive puck. Using her phone as a flashlight, Emily scoured the floor. Spencer was searching under game machines in a prone position, lying down. Emily smiled at Spencer's commitment. She looked up a little and then her eyes saw the familiar object in the tight grasp of a toddler in a stroller.

"Found the puck!" Emily yelled. The crowd came back and so did the mother of the toddler.

"Um hello. Your kid's holding the puck." She gestured towards the child. "Would you mind if I took it back?" Emily asked politely.

"Oh sure. Eric takes after his father. My husband plays baseball on the weekends, so I guess that hand eye coordination gene got inherited. Thank god, he didn't take after me. One time I was staying at my in-laws' place for the holidays and there was an incident with their crystal figurines and my sweaty hands. I got such a rough time with his mother after that. Gosh, you should've seen that woman..."

Spencer made eye contact with Emily. Emily tried to tell Spencer with her eyes that the kid had the puck. It didn't work so she ended up gesturing quickly while nodding with what the woman was talking about. Spencer slowly pried the puck away from the toddler's hold.

"Wow, that is a great story. I'm sorry but I need to finish up the game."

"Oh of course! You and your girlfriend are so energetic and serious about this."

"Er, she's not my girlfriend yet." The woman gave her a pitying look. Emily ran back to the air hockey table. She frowned when she saw that their tied scores had been wiped. "What the hell?"

"Right? What happened?"

"I think they reset it automatically. Whatever. You want to play some skeeball?"

"Sure."

They walked over to the skeeball area slowly, taking their time. Emily stared at Spencer's hand, wanting to hold it, but she noticed something. "Oh gosh, your fingers are bruised! Why didn't you tell me?"

Spencer observed her fingers. "Why should I have? This just means that you hit harder than I thought," Spencer teased.

"I'm worried, okay? And you should get that iced," Emily said. Spencer's fingers had a light purple bruise and it was her fault. "I'm sorry."

"It was an accident. Don't stress yourself about it. Let's just play some skeeball." Emily gave her the card to use. "So I just roll the ball to land in those holes for points?"

"Basically, yeah."

"Seems simple enough." Spencer reached down for the ball and threw the ball harshly, thudding on the lane to land no points. Spencer rolled up her sleeves and quickly grabbed another ball to get a measly ten points.

"Your throw needs to be more fluid. Let the ramp do most of the work for you." Emily demonstrated a throw and got a solid 75 points.

"Oh no, I can no longer move my arms. I need someone to guide my body. Help," Spencer said in a mocking damsel in distress tone.

Emily rolled her eyes but obliged, wrapping her body around Spencer's. She held the back of Spencer's hand and pulled it back, making Spencer lean against her body. She swung her arm with ease and the ball rolled nicely, scoring 50 points. "There you go," Emily said quietly.

Spencer's eyes looked at her with longing and Emily would be lying if she didn't reciprocate. The brunette leaned in and closed the small distance between them. Their lips met and that undeniable spark was there again. It was like they were meant to do this, like it was fate's intention. They both pulled away for breath.

"Am I a good noodle now?" Spencer asked, quoting Spongebob. "Or have I soiled our friendship garden?"

"Oh shut up, you dork." Emily lightly smacked Spencer's shoulder.

"Wow, punching the injured. Very nice of you," Spencer drawled.

Emily shot her a glare. "You are _so_ getting your ass kicked at skeeball."

"You're on."

~x~

Spencer ended up winning by a narrow ten points. As much as Emily complained, she knew it was a win nonetheless. They'd gone around the arcade going at all the games they could find. Emily was quite sure she'd never see a sight as precious as Spencer's child like state when playing stupid arcade games. She was absolutely adorable when she was at ease, having fun. Emily felt herself smiling whenever Spencer's eyes lit up from scoring points. Emily hadn't seen Spencer like this in forever. Even in junior high Spencer's schedule was hectic. Overachiever since preschool it seemed.

The two were sitting the car now. Emily was driving Spencer back home after- what she hoped to be- a wonderful date. "I had a great time. Did you?" Emily was nervous for Spencer's answer even though she knew that Spencer probably had at least a tolerable time.

"Is that even a question? Of course I did."

"I'm glad to hear that. I figured you might like the arcade."

"I'm assuming you knew that I'd never gone to the arcade before." Emily nodded. "I love how you gave it some thought, even though it was casual. But seriously, if you took me to a dumpster I would've thought it was a great date too. You just make everything easy, like I can just let go and relax."

"I feel the same way. I don't know. You make me happy. When you smile, I smile." Emily pulled into the driveway. "We're here."

"Good, that means I get to do this." Spencer held Emily's face as she kissed her. Emily moaned into the kiss. She never wanted this to stop. Spencer pulled away guiltily.

"Needed air," Spencer explained. "We could've hung out more. It's barely ten-thirty."

"My mom's paranoid," Emily said, rolling her eyes. "She doesn't want me dead before my dad gets here so she has an eleven o'clock curfew for me."

"That sucks."

"Not really. Rosewood is kind of boring without a bloodthirsty stalker on your trail."

"True." Spencer sighed. "I shouldn't keep you." She opened her door and got out. Emily did the same and escorted her.

Spencer kissed her again at the door. "Thanks Em. Goodnight."

"Goodnight Spencer."

After quickly checking her car, Emily drove home. After she parked, she took out her phone. She had an unread text message from Spencer.

 _Spencer: Again, thank you for giving me an awesome time. Ok, that sounded dirty but whatever. I forgot to tell you this today... You looked beautiful. But don't you always. I hope you have a nice night._

Cute. So freaking cute. Emily quickly typed out a reply.

 _Emily: I would do anything for you. Not because you're so gorgeous (which you are btw) but because you make me smile till my face hurts. Goodnight. Don't let the bedbugs bite._

 _~x~_

Aria opened her door to a determined looking, albeit a bit nervous, Emily.

"Hi," Emily greeted awkwardly.

"Hi," Aria said back with a little confusion. She moved aside. "Come in." They both took a seat on the couch.

"Look, I just figured that it would be better for me to talk to you rather than Spencer since I don't really know her head is at. I can't tell if she wants to rip your head off or let you go."

Aria elected to ignore Spencer's state for now. "Talk to me about what?"

"You know what. Spencer and I's relationship that you're against."

"I'm not against you and Spencer."

"Yes you are. You're either with us or against us and you're definitely not with us."

"I just don't think it's the best idea."

"Well it's not your decision to make. Wouldn't you have liked everyone to support you and Ezra? Same for Spencer and I."

"Don't bring Ezra into this!" Aria declared with hurt.

Emily realized she had struck a nerve. "I'm sorry."

Aria had her fair share of letting things slip out when she was upset, so she forgave Emily. "It's fine. I get it."

"I just..." Emily fixed the sleeve of her flannel thoughtfully. "She makes me _happy_." Emily said finally. "All of you guys do but what I have with her is on another level. Yesterday I had a fantastic time with her at an arcade. She just had the most infectious smile. This is special- and our friendships are too- but I can't pass up this feeling that this was meant to be. And I promise you that if we ever fight, it won't divide our friendship."

Emily's face had glowed when she talked about Spencer like the way Aria used to look like with Ezra. She was hurting for sure, but it was selfish of her to hold the people supporting her on such a tight leash. She was just choking their necks until they broke the leash and left. She needed to let go and trust that they'd come back to her.

Aria took a deep breath. "You can't promise me that. One of you will need support because of some stupid argument about whatever and Hanna and I will have to comfort our designated best friend. Hanna and I will try to kill each other sometime or the other, but it's okay if we argue if it's about you or Spencer's happiness."

The shorter girl peered up at Emily's face. Her breathing was erratic and her eyes were growing wet. "I want you to remember that you, Spencer, and Hanna are all I have. Mike's a fucking mess doing god knows what to land his body in rehab, my parents don't have their own shitty lives together, and I have no fucking idea what the hell I'm going to do with my life right now so please, _please_ don't fuck up the _one_ thing keeping me sane." Aria wiped the tears with her sleeve. "You keep that in mind and I'll be good. We've lost too much already. So, if this is some sort of fleeting fancy or whatever, then please stop. If you're sure, then go ahead. Who am I to stop you? But remember what I said. We've lost too much."

Emily sympathized with Aria. She'd been ignorant of it before, but now she could see the weight on Aria's shoulders so much more clearly. Aria was small, but fiercely protective even with the girls.

"I wouldn't try if I wasn't sure. Trust me."

"I do. I just hope you don't break it."

"I won't," Emily affirmed. "You know, sometime in the future we're going to have to discuss the accident and everything. Sooner or later you're going to have let down your walls. But thank you. I know it was hard to accept my relationship with Spencer. Thank you." Aria nodded shakily and Emily gave her a small smile before she left.


End file.
